First of all, I feel like a lot of the time divorce can be stopped before it even starts. It comes largely from a lack of communication. The two big factors that lead up to it are distance and avoidance. There are miscommunications between the couple and neither one of them talk them through. This drives a wedge in the relationship and causes distance. They then begin to avoid one another and any interaction results in an argument. Talk about your problems!! its normal to have miscommunications. By talking about what is going on and having an open mind you gain an understanding for your counterparts point of view. They might not even be meaning to say what you've been getting from the conversation.
Many a time we hear that divorce will be better for the children, that the arguing will stop and the home environment will be better. The truth is, the conflict doesn't go away. It only changes shape. An issue that occurs with children in divorce is triangulation. Triangulation occurs when the bond between husband and wife is opened up and the child becomes the mediator. Both mom and dad go to the child to express their discomforts with the other parent and the child becomes conflicted and confused. The parents fight through the child. Research shows that boys tend to do worse with divorce than girls do. They take their emotions inward more and usually lack having the man role model in the home that he needs. (Women usually have custody of the children).
Blended families after either parent remarries usually take at least 2 years to achieve normalcy. That is a long time. Something that I don't think some consider in blended families is who will be giving the rule for the child and how they will be disciplined. As much as the new mom or dad wants to be a part of their "new" child's life, it is not their place to discipline the child at the beginning of the new and growing relationship. My marriage and family teacher said that the biological parent should be responsible for this. We only have the right to criticize others if we truly love them and this bond and relationship between the new parent and the child has not had time to grow enough into a strong relationship where this might be possible. Every situation is different and you might be one of the lucky ones that has this instant bond with their adoptive children. I wish everything could be simple and perfect, but this is not a perfect world. It is a world in which we constantly have to learn and adapt.